


To Love, To Mess Up

by Unoriginal_Fangirl



Series: Supernatural Except Gabriel is a main character [2]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Archangel Gabriel (Supernatural), Azazel Possessing John Winchester, Bad Parent John Winchester, Canon Compliant, Canon-Typical Violence, Dean Winchester Loves The Impala, Demons, Emotional Roller Coaster, Episode: s01e22 Devil's Trap, Established Gabriel/Sam Winchester, Exorcisms, Fluff and Angst, Gabriel (Supernatural) is Loki, Gabriel Loves Sam Winchester, Heavy Angst, Hurt Sam Winchester, Hurt/Comfort, I Blame Tumblr, I Don't Even Know, I Tried, I'm Sorry, John Winchester's A+ Parenting, M/M, POV Gabriel, Possessive Gabriel, Protective Gabriel, This Is Why We Can't Have Nice Things, What Was I Thinking?, Wordcount: 5.000-10.000
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-06
Updated: 2019-02-06
Packaged: 2019-10-23 08:57:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,263
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17680391
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Unoriginal_Fangirl/pseuds/Unoriginal_Fangirl
Summary: Azazel didn't die, go figures. Meg kidnapped John, unsurprisingly, and who are left to get him back? Exactly. The Winchester brothers and their sweets-loving archangel.A.K.A. the sequel to To Love, (Not) To Lose no one wanted because internally we all just want our boys to be happy.A.K.A. the AU where Gabriel was Sam's boyfriend during Stanford & joined the bros and now it's episode twenty-two and angst is rising high.





	To Love, To Mess Up

**Author's Note:**

> So if you want happy not canon-compliant, go read the first part. & just wait until I put out ambiguous fluff in this AU. This is basically a retelling of S01E22, except with Gabriel, & he's pretty useless.  
> I wanted to write Gabriel teasing Dean endlessly about his bisexual awakening Ash over pie & beer but I guess 5k words of angst is good too.  
> There's some comfort but not a lot. It's depressing, but the show is depressing.

So Azazel wasn't dead. But how? Gabriel was certain he'd stabbed the guy. He was tempted to call his brothers and ask, but he knew how much the angels loved their secrets and that wouldn't tell him anything. So after helping Sam calm down after his father yelled at him for lying about the demon's death, they had gone to another location where it was about to happen. 

They all wanted the bastard dead for some reason. 

And now John was taken and the family Azazel was about to attack had been saved but  _ at what cost?  _ Who knew if John was still alive? If anything, Gabriel  _ knew  _ demons were merciless. It's how Lucifer made them. Mindless little soldiers, only existing to kill those he wanted dead. 

Dean called his father's number yet again. Someone answered, because his expression twisted into almost fearful as the conversation continued. Gabriel honestly wanted to grab Sam and fly away. 

“They have Dad,” Dean said as he lowered the phone from his ear. He looked up at his brother, who tensed up.

“Who? Meg?” he asked. “What did she say?”

“I just told you, Sammy!” As much as Gabriel didn't get along with Dean sometimes, their current situation made him feel bad for the guy. Raised to be a soldier, desperate to find his father. Gabriel had no one of his messed up family left at this point, but he recognized the Winchesters’ frantic fear as he had felt that thousands of years ago, when Luci… 

Dean put the colt in his pocket and rolled out a map. “Azazel is in Salvation. He will come for us, we have the Colt!” 

“Let him come. We still have three bullets,” Sam responded immediately.

Gabriel groaned. “Sammy, do you think you could go up against him? We tried, and we failed. He escaped death by  _ my hand,  _ no demon has ever done that,” he stated, trying to be gentle despite being nervous himself. He had two inexperienced hunters with him. Azazel had gotten him good back then, who knew what the demon could do while he was also trying to protect the Winchesters.

“It's our only chance, Gabe,” Sam begged.

“He's right, Sam! We're not strong enough!” Dean snapped. “We need a plan, okay?” 

Sam was glowering, but he didn't respond. 

Gabriel brushed his hand against his boyfriend's. “We'll kill him, Sammich. I promise. Just not now,” he murmured. 

“Now may be our only  _ chance.” _

“No. He wants you, one way or another. He'll be back. We'll be ready.”

 

They drove somewhere. It was a rundown house, decorated in a very interesting way. The dog watched them cautiously. Dean stepped up to the front door and knocked.

A relatively old man who, frankly, looked disastrous, opened and let them in. He pointed Sam to a stack of books on a table in the corner and sent Gabriel a suspicious glare.

Gabriel raised his hands in almost a mock of a peaceful sign, a grin on his face. “Relax, man. Not in here to stab anyone except the dumb demons who are after Sammy.” 

The man turned around and grabbed two flasks from another table and splashed one of them in the archangel's face. 

“While I appreciate the suspicion and  _ airtight  _ defense,” Gabriel spoke as he glanced around, “I, for one, know we're not demons.” 

The man still looked at him suspiciously, but not in the ‘you're a demon’ way he did before. “I'm Bobby,” he grumbled. 

“Gabriel, nice to meetcha.” He walked to where Sam was looking through a book. Familiar symbols stood on those pages. 

“Bobby, these are some really interesting things,” Sam said with a smile. Sam loved research. Gabriel was glad to see the youngest Winchester smiling right now. He didn't do it as often as he used to back at Stanford, and even then some of his smiles had been forced, unnatural. Sam had always missed his family. 

Gabriel knew the feeling.

“Yeah. It's the Key of Solomon. That one renders demons useless,” Bobby said as he walked over, pointing at a circle with all kinds of symbols within. The archangel within Gabriel wanted to yell at them for ignoring the symbolism within all these sigils and such, but after having lived around humanity for a few years he knew that this was what it meant to them. Humans didn't have time to appreciate the different symbols that went into these things, they only ever wanted to see it with a demon on their ass. 

“About the demons. Usually, I find maybe five or six possessions in a year. This year twenty-seven, up until  _ now.”  _ Bobby looked at Dean.

“Something big is coming. For everyone. That's why,” Gabriel said drily. “Something’s gonna happen and all the demons want front seats to watch it happen.”

Sam looked up at him. “You know too much about demons,” he stated. 

Gabriel patted his shoulder with a grin. “Of course I do, my brother became one when I was a kid.” 

Sam sighed. 

A little bit of time passed in near silence, before Bobby got up and glanced out the window. “Something's wrong,” he said, right before a demon kicked through the door. 

“You know what, I take the airtight defense thing back. Even our apartment had better warding.” Gabriel looked at the demon. Meg. The little  _ bitch  _ who tried to seduce  _ his  _ Sammy into coming with her, presumably to Azazel. 

She didn't bother with him aside from a sideways glance. Gabriel, arrogant as he was, assumed that it was because she couldn't take looking at an archangel. His power overwhelmed her. 

Absolutely not because she was much more interested in their local psychic. 

Sam grabbed Bobby's sleeve and they backed up, away from the demon. Sam glanced between Meg and Gabriel.

Gabriel would be fine, especially against such a low level demon, and Sam knew that. It warmed his heart to know how much his boyfriend cared about him, though. Even Kali had never been this protective, ready to jump right between him and a demon. 

Kali knew he was Loki, however. Kali had known he was perfectly capable of killing a demon and not dying. 

“Give me the Colt, Sam,” she said. “I know your Daddy left it with you  _ chuckleheads.  _ Give it to me.” 

Sam and Bobby backed up further until their backs were against the cluttered mess that was a cupboard. 

“Give me the Colt. You have nowhere to run.” 

If Gabriel wasn't so sure the trap would work, he would be freaking out now. He would have already driven his blade through the demon's back to kill her. 

“I will kill you and take it off your dead body,” she threatened. 

A small grin bloomed on Sam's lips, a kind of really attractive look on him. 

“You see, that's where you are wrong,” Dean said. 

Meg turned around to look at him. Dean looked pointedly at the ceiling, where the trap was drawn. 

Gabriel laughed. “You walked right into that one!”

No one thought it was funny.

They quickly (and efficiently) tied her up. Gabriel wrapped his arm around Sam's waist, glaring at the little bitch who had tried to seduce the Winchester. 

“You know,” she said, looking at Sam, “if you wanted to tie me up, all you had to do was ask.” 

Oh, Gabriel wanted to stab her and be done with it. Dad, he wanted to stab her and collect the information from her dying brain cells. 

Dean stepped up to her. “Where's our father, Meg?”

She smirked at him, a twinkle in her deep black eyes. “You didn't ask very nice.” 

Dean smiled in that creepy way you wouldn't want anyone to smile at you. “I'm  _ sorry.  _ Where's our father, bitch?”

Gabriel didn't always enjoy his boyfriend's big brother's presence, but damn if he didn't felt a pang of amusement at that. 

“You kiss your mother with that mouth?” Meg asked with a pout. “Oh wait, I forgot.” 

Dean stepped forward with a snarl. “Answer me! Where is he?! What did you do to him?!”

“He died screaming. I killed him myself.”

Dean slapped her in the face. Sam winced. 

“That's kind of a turn on,” she breathed, “you hitting a girl.”

“You're no girl,” Dean responded immediately.

Meg licked her lips. 

“ _ Dean,”  _ Bobby said. 

Dean turned around and walked over to Bobby. Gabriel patted Sam's hip before walking over to the demon. “Listen up, bitch. You're gonna tell us where the hell you left John Winchester or so help me, God, I will torture you until you can't even beg for mercy anymore,” he hissed. 

She smirked at him. “When are you gonna tell him, huh? Never? What will he think when he's old and wrinkly yet you still look the same?” 

He almost ripped his blade from his hip and slammed it through her hand so hard it entered the chair. 

Meg cried out in pain, but Gabriel was deaf to it. “Where is John Winchester?!” he growled, twisting the blade. 

“He died, begging to see his sons!” she screamed, a twisted, self-satisfied look on her face despite the pain that was undoubtedly searing through her nerves.

Strong hands grabbed his arms and pulled him away. Dean ripped the blade out. 

“What the hell, man?!” Dean snarled at him.

He thrashed against Sam's tight grip. “The girl inside her will die the second the demon leaves her body, it doesn't  _ matter  _ what we do. I'm getting answers.”

“Gabe, this isn't like you. What did she say?” Sam asked, forcing him to turn around. 

Gabriel swallowed, looking away. “She said something about my past that I never told you, something I buried deep and I don’t want to tell anyone. She deserves to suffer.” He proceeded to say a few words in Latin.

The demon screamed again. 

“Don't worry, it only hurts the bitch inside. Not the girl,” Gabriel said softly, getting back control over his vessel. He continued the chant.

Sam let him turn around, and Gabriel felt satisfaction fill him as the demon screamed in agony. He had never really enjoyed to torture another, but this was a demon, and she was talking shit about his relationship with Sam and he had never known a person who deserved to die more. 

“Where is he?” Dean asked again. 

Gabriel closed his mouth for a moment, awaiting her answer.

“You just won't take ‘dead’ for an answer, huh?” She panted softly, but she didn't budge. 

Gabriel continued to say three more words, just enough to realight the agony searing through her. 

“Where is he?!” Dean asked again. 

Her head was inclined, but she still smirked. “Dead!”

Gabriel continued chanting, the exorcism a lot shorter than most of those known to man, but a lot more difficult. (He was really not flaunting his Latin skill in front of Sam to actually make it seem like he was worth being his boyfriend)

“He will be!” she screamed,  _ finally. _

There were about five words left before the demon soul would leave the body and go back to hell where it came from. 

“Wait, what?!” Dean stepped closer to the demon. 

“He's not dead. But he will be, once we're done with him,” she said, looking up at Dean. 

“What is that supposed to mean?” Gabriel asked slowly. 

She smirked at him, but didn't answer.

“And how do we know you're telling the truth?” Dean loomed over her in a way that almost reminded Gabriel of looking down on the humans as if they were just his father's new toys. 

She turned back to Dean. “You don't.”

“Gabe?” Dean said, looking back at him.

Gabriel took a breath he didn't necessarily needed to drag out the second she had to stop him. 

“A building! A building in Jefferson City!” she cried out before he continued. Gabriel grinned. He knew that would work. 

“Missouri?” Sam asked. “Where? Give us an address!” 

“I don't know,” Meg said. She appeared to be satisfied with her lack of knowledge. 

“And Azazel?” Gabriel stayed on his spot. He was threatening enough to demons, even without his blade. 

She looked at him. “I don't know, I swear!”

“Finish it,” Dean said. He turned to Gabriel, who raised his brow in response.

“Maybe she still has more information,” Sam said to his brother.

“There's an innocent girl in there!” 

“Who will die the second the demon leaves her body,” Bobby said.

“What?” the brothers asked simultaneously.

“He's right. Her fall, back then, it broke her body. The demon's keeping her alive. I have no issues with a mercy kill, but are you sure you want to let her die?” Gabriel said. He grabbed Sam's hand, knowing it was the only thing keeping him grounded until he finished the exorcism and could take in fresh air. 

Dean looked at them. “We're doing her a favor, c'mon.”

Gabriel glanced at Sam. “Finish it,” his boyfriend said tightly. 

Gabriel turned back to the demon, who was trying to break free. He said the last few words, his voice barely above a whisper as the demon wailed and begged.

As soon as he spotted the black cloud, he booked it. He released Sam's hand with a gentle squeeze and walked out the house. 

He knew this was his father's doing. All of it. It was because of his father that humanity existed. It was because of his father that Lucifer left, that their family broke into pieces.

And yet, it was also his father who created humanity. It was his father who had put Sam Winchester on his path, his father who had allowed the young man to fall in love with Gabriel of all people. After all, He had created people in his image and He could have easily removed the same-sex attraction from Sam if He had wanted to. 

Speaking of his father, of his family, fuck, he missed them. Before all this, before humanity, it had been so nice in Heaven. Michael had been stoic but kind, Lucifer had helped him pull pranks sometimes. Him and Luci had always been the more annoying siblings, he could admit that, but it was always harmless. Gabriel loved his family, even if he didn't want to. It was difficult not to love them, not after this many years. 

“Gabe?” Sam stepped outside. Gabriel turned his head to his boyfriend and smiled, although he knew it was weak and sad. 

“Heya, Sammich,” he responded. 

Sam sighed. “Are you okay?” he asked, his voice oh so soothing and  _ fuck,  _ Gabriel didn't deserve this pure, kind boyfriend. 

Gabriel walked towards Sam and stopped right in front of him, all cozy in his personal space, before resting his head against Sam's chest. “You know I love you, right?” he asked softly, uncertain.

Sam lifted his arms and hugged his boyfriend. “Of course. I love you too,” he murmured, resting his chin on Gabriel's head. 

“The demon said things about me, about my family, about my past, about  _ you,  _ I just needed some fresh air, y'know?” Gabriel wrapped his arms tightly around Sam's waist. He was here, right now. In the arms of someone who had been with him for over a year, someone who would've left earlier if he didn't actually love the broken mess that was Gabriel. 

Sam's grip on him tightened as well. “You don't have to tell me about it, Gabe. Some things we'd all just rather forget.” 

Gabriel leaned back slightly and looked up at his boyfriend. It was terrifying how hard he'd fallen. Terrifying to know so much of his soul was in the hands of one fragile human. 

Sam kissed him gently, hands on either side of his face. Gabriel lifted his hands and grabbed onto his boyfriend's wrists like he was afraid to lose him. He was afraid to lose Sam. 

“Alright, lovebirds, get in the car!” Dean said as he walked past the duo. 

Gabriel realized Sam had needed the tender moment just as much as he did. Sam never wanted to kill anyone, never wanted innocent people to die. And this girl, she had the face of someone he  _ knew.  _ “Are you okay?” he asked softly, attempting to fix the feeling of feeling like he was a shitty boyfriend. 

“I’ll be fine, Gabe,” Sam muttered. 

 

They drove to Jefferson City, where the trio found an apartment complex called ‘Sunrise Apartments’. “That’s what she meant, I guess,” Sam said. 

Gabriel, who had been filled in on all the details during the drive, nodded. “Hiding in plain view, good idea.” It was what he was doing after all. 

“We won’t know which ones they're possessing,” Dean said with a groan. “This sucks out loud.”

“Tell me about it. How are we going to get in? They'll recognize us, we can't just waltz right in and not expect to be attacked.” Sam looked at the building.

“Pull the fire alarm,” Dean suggested. 

“If authorities catch you pulling the fire alarm uselessly, you will go behind bars,” Gabriel warned, although he knew it was their best shot.

“It takes about seven minutes right?” Sam glanced at Dean.

Dean nodded. “Seven minutes exactly.”

 

Gabriel stays outside. Two is less suspicious than three, and he has to keep an eye out for any demons who might have been sane enough to get the hell out. “You know,” he said to the old lady next to him, “I really hope this is a prank.” 

“Do I know you?” she asked.

Gabriel grinned. “I moved in only recently. Bummer, I liked the place.”

She looked at him with a strict look in her eyes that every old lady seemed to be capable of. She appeared to be suspicious of him, despite his natural behavior. Sort of natural behavior. He didn't know how humans behaved, he was an archangel for shit's sake. 

No, living at a college for two years didn't count. Students were usually the most crap people in existence. Always in debt and still partying. He admired them in a way. 

He noticed movement at the side of the building and walked away from the old lady, who didn't want to talk to him anyway. 

It was Sam and Dean, carrying their father. Gabriel ran, as a demon jumped right on top of Sam and started beating him. He pulled his blade (which Dean had returned to him in the car) from his belt, but Dean was faster and shot the demon with the Colt. He shared a look with the hunter. He should've been faster.

But Sam looked up at him, body still shaking with adrenaline. He grabbed his hand and pulled him up with a tight nod, which was all he could do. 

Humans were so fragile.

They rushed over to Dean and helped him drag John into the car before they drove off.

 

They drove into a forest, and parked by a cabin. Gabriel gave it a distasteful look. He was used to living somewhere that didn't look like it was about to break down. 

But, he supposed it was well-hidden. He walked into a different room with the excuse of looking for food. Well, he was going to look for food. He was  _ hungry.  _

Still, he was an archangel, a trickster and a pagan god, all at once. So, like he always does when he feels like eating, he snapped his fingers and summoned up a piece of cake. 

If Sam knew about his powers he'd be groaning about wasting them, but Gabriel begged to differ. Food was important. The food being edible was even better. 

He's so far away from actually being grounded that he only realized what was going on in the other room when he heard two bodies hit the wall. He dropped the plate and rushed into the other room right as John(?) Placed the Colt on the table. The old man's mouth was opened like he was about to say something, but he caught sight of Gabriel and smiled.

“You actually thought you'd killed me,” he stated. Yeah, no, it was Azazel. Where Gabriel had wanted to torture Meg before killing her, he wanted Azazel to be torn apart and put together daily for the rest of his eternal life. He deserved it, hurting innocent kids like that. 

“My blade was forged in Heaven, Azazel. Your  _ father  _ left the blueprints. It should have killed you,” he said. He held the blade in his hands. If this was what he had to do to save Sam, then so be it. 

Azazel smirked. “I escaped right before you stabbed me. Didn't you notice? Are you going blind, Messenger?” 

“Let their father go and return to where you came from or I will kill you,” Gabriel threatened, his knuckles white from his grip on his blade. 

“Gabe?” Sam asked. 

Gabriel shook his head. 

“Aren't you gonna tell your pretty little boyfriend what you are?” 

“Why did you want to kill me?” Gabriel asked, not even responding to the question he's been asked twice that day. He was going to tell Sam. Just not  _ now. _

Azazel leaned with one hand on the table. “Sam was looking for rings, and I couldn't have him settling down now, could I?”

Gabriel froze. Sam had been looking for a ring? Sam wanted to actually spend the rest of his life with him? Sam wanted to marry him, at least when it was legalized. Sam wanted to propose and holy shit he didn't deserve this perfect man.

Dean suddenly cried out in pain. Blood stained his shirt in the front, just like Mary had bleed out. 

Sam yelled “No!” but that was useless. 

“Let him go, you heartless bastard,” Gabriel growled through clenched teeth, pressing his blade to Azazel's throat. 

“Dad, please,” Dean whispered before his eyes closed.

Gabriel swallowed. It was John in there. He held a knife to his boyfriend's father's throat. 

“Stop,” comes out of the man's mouth and Sam is released. “Stop it.”

Gabriel grabbed the gun and threw it at Sam, who grabbed it with relative ease and pointed it at Azazel.

“You kill me, you kill daddy,” the demon said with a smirk.

“I know,” Sam just said and shot him in the leg. Gabriel made his way to Sam and placed his finger on his boyfriend forehead, essentially erasing all memories of what Azazel had called the archangel. Gabriel would tell him, but when he wanted to. “Dean!” 

Sam stumbled across the room to his brother. Gabriel followed to erase Dean's memory as well. He couldn't have him tell on him, could he? 

“Check on Dad,” Dean just said. 

“You've lost a lot of bloo-”

“Go check on Dad,” Dean repeated. 

Gabriel is first to John’s side, removing his memory of every single thing Azazel said that could be related to him being an angel. 

Sam looks at him as he approaches, the Colt still in his hand as if he was afraid to let it go. 

At this point it would be so much simpler to reveal he was an archangel. Heal their wounds, kill the demon. But he  _ couldn't.  _ He'd been lying to Sam. If Sam found out…

And he knew it was selfish. He knew that he should tell them, that he should take it if Sam decides to tell him to go and never come back, but he couldn't. 

“I can feel it!” John suddenly said, making Gabriel jump. “It's still inside me! It's alive! You shoot me! You shoot me, son! Now!” 

Sam raised the gun and pointed it at his father. He was shaking. He didn't want to shoot his father. Why would he? It was his  _ father,  _ and as messed up as he'd raised them, they still loved him. 

Dean groaned. “Don't do it. Sam, don't you do it!” he almost begged. 

Gabriel was  _ numb.  _ It didn't matter how he interfered, everything still went how the angels wanted it to. Soon, Lilith would start unlocking the seals and Dean would go to hell and Sam would say yes to Lucifer. Soon Cassie would show up. So it was written by a prophet. He had thought he could change it by interfering, but he could only watch it happen while being emotionally invested. Was it a mistake? 

No, he decided. He'd only had about a year with Sam before all this happened, but damn, if it wasn't worth it. 

“Do it! I can't hold on much longer! Shoot me, son! We can end this now, Sammy!” 

Sam's breath caught in his throat and Gabriel was so  _ close  _ to finishing it himself. 

_ “You'll only speed it up if you try to interfere,”  _ Zachariah's voice rang through his head. Gabriel frowned. 

_ “Fuck off, Zach,”  _ he thought harshly, glaring at nothing. 

_ “If you kill him now, Dean will die and not be revived. Your choice.”  _ His brother sounded arrogant, like he knew he was right. He probably did, knowing how strictly Zach followed their father. If God told the Angel's to go to Hell and suffer, Zach and Michael would be in front. Once upon a time, Gabriel would've been at their side.

“Do it, Sammy!” John nearly screamed. Gabriel curled his fingers tightly around his blade and watched it happen. He hated admitting Zachariah was right. 

Sam was scared. He didn't want to shoot his father. Of course he didn't. How messed up would you be to kill a father who loves you, even if he messed up with raising you? 

Azazel escaped, a black cloud slipping through the cracks in the floor. Sam lowered the gun as his father looked almost accusingly. Like he'd done something wrong.

~~ Like Michael had looked at him right before he left Heaven. ~~

Sam left the cabin after he placed the Colt on the table. Gabriel followed quickly. He knew better than anyone that he shouldn't be alone.

“Do you think I should've shot him?” Sam asked. His sad puppy eyes sought out Gabriel's honey golden. 

Gabriel grabbed his hand. “It doesn't matter what you should've done, Sammy. You couldn't have shot him. He's your father, you haven't even killed anyone you don't know. You don't want to kill. That's a good thing. Once you've killed, you'll never be the same,” he insisted. 

“But Dad taught me to obey my orders. It was his life goal to see to it that the demon died, and now we had our chance and I failed,” Sam muttered.

“We will get another chance. Remember what I said in Salvation? He's coming for you, he’s not leaving without you. It doesn't matter who he kills on the way, your mother, Dean, me, your father… as long as he gets you.” 

Sam hugged him tightly. “You're not dying on me, okay?” he asked, his voice a quiet whisper in the night. 

“Of course not. He might try, but he can't kill me.” Gabriel gently rubbed Sam's back. “We’ll kill him. I promised, didn't I?” 

Sam let out a shaky breath. “Yeah.” 

 

They got into the Impala, and Gabriel was surprised to see Dean climb into the back. Dean never sat in the back. Sure, neither him nor his father was in any condition to drive, but Sam wasn't much better off than them.

Gabriel was definitely willing to drive, Dean just didn't trust him with the car. As was expected, he wasn't the best driver and Dean was  _ very  _ attached to the vehicle. 

He felt kind of guilty, to be honest. Sam and Dean got beat to bloody pulps, but he remained spotless. Of course, he bled. It wasn't like his arteries were empty, this was a human vessel after all. 

But he healed. It didn't matter how large the wound, he  _ healed  _ quickly.

Gabriel leaned his head against the window with a sigh. Today had been a disaster, and all could have been avoided if he had just  _ killed Azazel.  _

It was probably his father's doing that he hadn't killed the demon. They had their plans for the Winchesters, whether Gabriel liked it or not. The plans involved the demon. Ergo, they couldn't let him die. Not yet. 

Gabriel was strong, but he was nothing against that many Angel's working towards their goal. 

“You okay?” Sam asked, glancing at him through the rearview mirror. Their games caught for a second. 

“I'm fine, Sammy, look at the road,” he just said with a tiny grin. 

Sam gave him another worried look. Sam knew of the phenomenon of saying you're fine when you're not. It was Dean's go-to answer. 

But Gabriel, at this point, was just too tired. Too many things that tugged at his mind were hidden from Sam, things he couldn't tell his boyfriend. Not yet. Not while they both weren't ready for the truth. 

John groaned in pain. 

“The hospital's only ten minutes away, hold on, Dad,” Sam said softly, glancing at his father.

John placed his hand on his painful leg and looked at his son, who turned back to the road. “I'm surprised. Why didn't you kill it? I thought we saw eye-to-eye on this. Killing the demons comes first - before anything.” 

Sam glanced at his brother and boyfriend on the back seat and back at his father. “No,” he said softly. Not everything.” 

It was quiet for a moment before he spoke up again. “Look, we still have the Colt. We still have one bullet. We'll find the demon and try again.” 

Another beat of silence before there was  _ pain  _ in his every limb. “Sam!” 

 

\---

 

“I'm awake,” Sam murmured slowly. 

Gabriel took a deep breath. “Assholes,” he hissed, wincing at the pain in his shoulder and head while his grace healed him. He looked at Dean. “We really should get to a hospital.” 

He shifted on the seat and touched Dean's arm, trying to assess the damage. 

“How are you okay?” Sam asked softly, looking at him through the rearview mirror. 

Gabriel swallowed tightly. “I'll explain once we get these two to a hospital, okay? I just have to get out before the doctors are going to ask questions.” 

He looked around him before smashing through the back window (the car was screwed over either way) and rushing out. He snapped up a car at the side of a road so it looked like he'd been driving behind them,  _ bless his trickster powers. _

The demon climbed out of the truck that had hit them and walked over to the car wreck, where Sam was still awake. 

“Stay back, or I swear to God, I'll kill you,” Sam said. 

The demon appeared amused as Gabriel walked up to it from the back, blade drawn. “You won't. You're saving that bullet for someone else.” 

Gabriel grabbed the back of his shirt and placed the blade at his throat. “Maybe, but my blade is fine,” he hissed in its ear. 

Knowing Gabriel wasn't fucking around, it quickly left the vessel, which dropped to the ground. The man got up again, eyes widening at the sight of the wrecked car and his truck. “Did I do this?” 

“Call the hospital, you dumbass! My phone is at home, please, I'm begging you!” Gabriel exclaimed, more panic in his voice than he'd hoped. 

Sam leaned towards his father, and Gabriel's heart  _ shattered  _ at seeing him so afraid. He was so scared, so shocked, he couldn't use magic now and risk being caught and there were already people on the way and he just wanted Sam to be happy.

The realization hit hard.

Gabriel had fallen in love with someone who was destined to suffer.

**Author's Note:**

> Look if you have any prompts & requests (for seasons 1-5 (I'm in 6 but I can't proceed bc my app sucks)) just let me know :')


End file.
